ELTON F*CKING BROWN???

http://www.ridiculousupside.com/2008/7/20/574442/breaking-the-ceiling-summe

"Elton Brown looks terrifying on the floor. In person? He's like a teddy bear. A big friendly teddy bear that you're kind of concerned will eat you." TRUE

"A physical bruiser known for his ability to bang down low and battle with bigs for offensive rebounds(and then turn them back over to the defense), Brown is a physical warrior on the court (hands made out of stone will give that impression). (NOT) Surprisingly, his attitude is a lot more laid back in person. Though people around him say he can be acerbic (what?) when provoked, he genuinely comes off as an easy going guy (maybe because he is, and he's lazy). The confidence is stunning for an undrafted player out of Virginia (GO WAHOOS!!!), who's spent time in the D-League (scrubs), Greece (SPARTA!!!!!), and Israel (JEWSSSS!!!!!!!!!), and is now competing again for an NBA roster spot (it better be an XXXL).

Brown was one of the last cuts with the Knicks in 2006 (ooooooooooh the knicks....), and one of the last cuts for the Lakers in 2007 (Phil felt sorry for him). He's never made it over the hump (he got winded about 1/4 the way through), though, and last year,despite averaging a double double (meats AND potatoes) in the D-League and being leaps (stifle laughter) and bounds (still cant beat gravity) above his colleagues in terms of physical play (slap-fighting) and rebounding (grasping for air), frustration led him to take the money and run... to Israel (WAFFLE HOUSE).

He's back, though, because the goal of playing in the NBA is still so close to within reach (ran out of money). And while that might drive some people completely nuts (or BONKERS!!), for Elton, it's just another regular day at the office.

Summer League days are hard (really?), but they're not unbearable (well then no one would do it then....). He wakes up around 9 or 10 (NO WAY!), grabs something (somethingSSSSSSSSSS) to eat, and heads to the arena for practice (we talking about practice? /iverson). The practices, he says are harder than the players thought they would be, but he's happy with that (makes him hungrier). He's a physical player (LIES!). He likes physical practices. He heads back to the hotel to rest before the game.(BIG SURPRISE!)

yeah im not bitter