John Madden is a Commentary Genius

We all know this to be true. Ace Hardware and BOOM Tough Actin Tinactin know this. That's why they use him as their spokesman. Frank Caliendo idolizes John Madden so much that he wants to be John Madden.



Last night's opening game (Colts vs. Saints) to the 2007-2008 NFL season was no different. John Madden was in fine form as usual:

• "Great block by Marques Colston. You know Al, wide receivers today have to know how to block."
• "The Saints have been frustrating Dwight Freeney all night." (The very next play Freeney knocks Brees down and causes an illegal touch penalty)
• "Remember that old saying when the cat's away the mice play?"
• "Everybody probably would have gone for it, but maybe not this team tonight."
• "Manning will get three plays from Tom Moore. He hasn't called it yet." (The team hadn't gotten to the line of scrimmage yet).
• "Rule number one, don't use your finger as a shoe horn."
• "When you don't have it going passing and get nothing from your two top runners, then that's a bad thing."
• "The Colts feel better about these two guys because they are bigger and stronger than the two guys they lost."
• "We're gonna plop a guy on the old horse trailer after this one aren't we?"
• "He wanted to come back, and he left a little meat on that bone."
• "This Colt defense played so well tonight that they really frustrated the Saints."
• "I don't know, I'm at a waffle."
• "Tonight was not a good night for Drew Brees." (After the Colts win 41-10 and Drew Brees nearly sets a NFL record for QB futility in yards gained per catch).