ELTON F*CKING BROWN???

http://www.ridiculousupside.com/2008/7/20/574442/breaking-the-ceiling-summe

"Elton Brown looks terrifying on the floor. In person? He's like a teddy bear. A big friendly teddy bear that you're kind of concerned will eat you." TRUE

"A physical bruiser known for his ability to bang down low and battle with bigs for offensive rebounds(and then turn them back over to the defense), Brown is a physical warrior on the court (hands made out of stone will give that impression). (NOT) Surprisingly, his attitude is a lot more laid back in person. Though people around him say he can be acerbic (what?) when provoked, he genuinely comes off as an easy going guy (maybe because he is, and he's lazy). The confidence is stunning for an undrafted player out of Virginia (GO WAHOOS!!!), who's spent time in the D-League (scrubs), Greece (SPARTA!!!!!), and Israel (JEWSSSS!!!!!!!!!), and is now competing again for an NBA roster spot (it better be an XXXL).

Brown was one of the last cuts with the Knicks in 2006 (ooooooooooh the knicks....), and one of the last cuts for the Lakers in 2007 (Phil felt sorry for him). He's never made it over the hump (he got winded about 1/4 the way through), though, and last year,despite averaging a double double (meats AND potatoes) in the D-League and being leaps (stifle laughter) and bounds (still cant beat gravity) above his colleagues in terms of physical play (slap-fighting) and rebounding (grasping for air), frustration led him to take the money and run... to Israel (WAFFLE HOUSE).

He's back, though, because the goal of playing in the NBA is still so close to within reach (ran out of money). And while that might drive some people completely nuts (or BONKERS!!), for Elton, it's just another regular day at the office.

Summer League days are hard (really?), but they're not unbearable (well then no one would do it then....). He wakes up around 9 or 10 (NO WAY!), grabs something (somethingSSSSSSSSSS) to eat, and heads to the arena for practice (we talking about practice? /iverson). The practices, he says are harder than the players thought they would be, but he's happy with that (makes him hungrier). He's a physical player (LIES!). He likes physical practices. He heads back to the hotel to rest before the game.(BIG SURPRISE!)

yeah im not bitter

gary? really?

"For Team 2, the best player on the floor (and likely of the day) was clearly Gary Forbes, stringing together one of the best single-game performances (30 points, 7-16 FG, 15-16 FT, 26 minutes) we've seen in the last five years of the pre-draft camp. Forbes was incredibly aggressive putting the ball on the floor with either hand and making very strong moves to the basket, being very physical once there and in turn getting to the free throw line at will. His scoring instincts might be the best of any wing player at this camp, as he makes up for his lack of freakish athleticism with phenomenal footwork and body control, being able to quickly read and exploit angles, or move intelligently without the ball, in turn showing a very good basketball IQ that impressed many people here. Although his perimeter shot wasn't a huge part of his game once again, he knocked down one of his two attempts from NBA range, which leaves optimism in that regard. He's making a strong push for consideration in the early second round or possibly higher."

SUBSTANDARD UVA COACHING STRIKES AGAIN

With continuing horribleness of UVA basketball, Ed has been in hiding. He secretly supports UVA athletics by wearing their orange apparel, but cannot voice any positive opinions without wanting to stab himself in the eyes, OEDIPUS StyLES.



PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORTING FOR DUTYYYYYYYY!!!!. no not the gays, the ORIOLES. THe season can already be summed up in these lines

Juror No. 7: You a Yankee fan?
Juror No. 5: No, Baltimore.
Juror No. 7: Baltimore? That's like being hit in the head with a crowbar once a day.

AGREED!!!. CROWBAR TO THE HEAD> or akin to facing crazy guy in oldboy who eats octopus or squid??? RAW!. HAMMER TO THE HEAD. as high school math teacher Mr. LAfferty once said, its like hitting your head against the wall, because it feels good when it stops.



Due to depressive nature of rooting interests of Ed, it is time to think about what bandwagon can ed jump on? WASHINGTON CAPITALS IS CHOICE #1. fans of capitals would be happy to have idiot jump onto team that has no following anyways. stigma of following minor-major league sport means that you have STREET CRED amongst bloggers of nation. plus liberal-leanings of ed, can be further transformed into leanings towards strong HAMMER AND SICKLE combination of OVECHKIN, FEDEROV, KOZLOV on the power play. As for presidential primaries, remember, if your president cannot do this:


THEN HE/SHE is not REAL president. VOTE PUTIN '08!

Duke player falls....

comedy ensues....

UVA Basketball Alum

ADAM HALL MAKES AWeSOME GOODNESS



"Fast break...... AWWW-VASTENDUNKVONHOLE!!!!!! VISHTENKDIEREENDURLUFT!!!!!......MEIN GOD!!!"

and kicked in the nuts